Discovery
by Arianrhod1
Summary: After the Cylons destroyed the Twelve Colonies, Commander Adama and Captain Adama were forced to rebuild their relationship. But the past, the future, and the Cylons all seem to be getting in the way...


_**Discovery**_

Author: Arianrhod

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership for anything but my own original characters and story ideas. All other characters, etc., belong _not _to me and I do not take or receive credit (and certainly not money!) for them.

Warnings/Rating: T (or PG-13), just to be safe

This is dedicated to my great friend Pilla who's always willing to do an emergency edit, and to another great friend who let me commandeer her house every Friday night to watch her television.

Author's Note: This is my first Battlestar Galactica fic, but I love the new show and couldn't seem to get some ideas out of my head. This story is set before the season finale Kobol's Last Gleaming (or set in an AU where it didn't happen) but after Act of Contrition so Commander Adama knows about Kara's part in Zak's accident. I like the dynamic between Kara, Lee, and the Commander and I want to explore it some before I accept the fact that the finale changed everything (or most things). Please read and review! Pairing, if it comes into play, will be KaraLee. No worries, more action will happen in later chapters.

Italics indicate thoughts or flashbacks.

—————

_It's almost funny,_ Lee thought bitterly, _that I'm supposed to be the strong one here._

He lay staring at the ceiling above his bunk, wondering how bad it would be if the CAG decided to stay in bed for the day.

His father had been avoiding him decidedly for the past week. Kara hadn't spoken to him in a few days. The only people who might actually miss him would be his wingmen, nuggets who wouldn't dare call out the arrogant, short-tempered Captain Apollo. But even though no one would miss him, his apparent sloth would certainly be noticed.

_And no doubt punished,_ Lee reflected as he forced himself to sit up._ I hate this ship._

Since Kara and his father had been keeping far away from him and more often than not sticking close to each other, it seemed that Galactica's crew had forgotten that Lee Adama was the Lieutenant's friend or the Commander's son. Of course, it was possible he wasn't Kara's friend, and on any other day he might have appreciated not being associated with The Commander.

But it was not any other day. Today, Lee did not feel like moving. He did not feel like taking crap from the crew or his pilots. He did not feel like being under his father's command. Today, he did not really feel much like breathing, or living, either.

Today was the day that Zak had died.

—————

Lee entered the CIC cautiously, not wanting to stop or wince or even blink when he saw his father this morning. He no longer felt anger at his father, the burning rage that would make his vision go dark around the edges was gone. Now there was just… nothing. Not even guilt. He didn't even feel anything towards Kara, just emptiness. Zak was gone and he was just empty.

Forcing his thoughts away from Zak, Lee made his way over to Colonel Tigh, nodding to PO Dualla, routine, adjusting the sleeves of his flight suit, routine, and saluting his superior officer, routine. He swallowed the knot in his throat and thanked the Gods, or whoever, for the dim lighting on the bridge.

Tigh returned the salute. "Are you on patrol today, Captain?" Tigh was making casual conversation, but Lee appreciated the easy opener. It gave him a chance to clear his throat. _At least you don't have to report to your father_, he reminded himself.

"Are, uh…" Lee cleared his throat again. "Before I go out on CAP, are there any updates or reports I should know about? I just came off six hours of sleep after a long patrol."

"No, Captain." Tigh replied looking back down at the papers in his hands. "All the ships in the fleet are at least in working order, no Cylon activity, and we're still orbiting this moon until the tylium rations are all distributed and the next jump is plotted. Anything to report?"

"Nothing new, sir, no." Lee saluted again, and turned to leave. He had seen his father and Kara working closely but silently across the deck, but no protocol would force him to actually talk to either of them today. Perhaps that was best. When he returned from patrol he could occupy himself with paperwork or maintenance on the flight deck. More routine, less thought.

"Captain?"

Lee stopped. If it was possible, all activity in the CIC stopped. His father had had to raise his voice to get Lee's attention. Lee pivoted slowly. _No hesitating, pretend nothing is wrong_, he reminded himself.

"Yes, sir?" His reply sounded clear and collected to his ears. His feet were glued to the deck where he stood. He wasn't sure why it was imperative that he continue to act like Lee the Robot. Certainly everyone knew that today was the day the Commander lost a son, or Starbuck lost her fiancé. His father had been Galactica's commander when the news came. Starbuck had come on not long after, and given the way Kara expressed strong emotions, the anniversary of Zak's accident was likely now a memorable day for all of Galactica's crew. At least ambrosia had become very hard to find.

Lee made eye contact with his father and his breath caught in his chest. Kara and his father, and maybe Colonel Tigh, were possibly the only people who knew that today was a day of loss for Lee as well. Lee didn't have any confidants on Galactica's crew, he certainly didn't have any friends here and Kara didn't seem to count as one anymore. The fact that Lee hadn't been seen around the Commander or Lieutenant Thrace recently had let the crew disassociate the three of them. It was a hard day for Commander Adama, he lost his son today. Stay away from Starbuck, she lost the man she loved today. Well, no one on this ship had witnessed Lee lose his brother, one of the only people who had ever seemed to care about Lee.

_And he was one of the only people I cared about, too,_ Lee thought, blinking and straining to keep his façade in place. But the people that knew, the crew and his friends on the Battlestar Atlantia, were far away…

————

"_Lieutenant?"_

"_Yes, sir." Lee replied, standing and saluting crisply. He was confident that the CAG's request for Lee to meet the CAG in his office was not for disciplinary measures. Lee had been working harder than he ever had before since he had been transferred to the Atlantia. Whether it was because he was merely trying to impress his superiors or if he was still subconsciously trying to earn this, to his mind, prestigious posting despite who his father was, either way he knew he couldn't be in trouble. Maybe it was good news?_

"_Lee, please, sit down." Lee sat, but the Captain's use of his first name caused a chill to settle in the pit of his stomach. "Lee, yesterday, your brother, Ensign Zak Adama, was involved in accident during a landing. He didn't survive." The CAG paused, unsure if he should continue or break off, looking at Lee both nervously and with pity openly on his face._

_Lee had never experienced the cold slap of shock before, not like this. He exhaled. His brain started, and stopped, and tried to process those words. There was a low roaring in his ears, and darkness crowded in at the edges of his eyes. He saw the CAG stand up and reach towards him._

"_Yesterday?" Lee choked out._

—————

"_Lee?"_

_It was Lieutenant Jay O'Reilly , call sign Jazzy, who inhabited the bunk below Lee's. He was standing on bottom of the ladder, looking into the darkness of Lee's bunk. Looking at Lee's back, actually. Lee was staring at the wall. Eyes wide. Breathing shallow. Paralyzed. Moving would force him to think, and thinking was unbearable._

"_Lee?" Jazzy called out again, softer. "Lee, your leave came through. The CAG cleared me to fly you out in a Raptor, wherever you need to go. Lee?"_

_Lee breathed in enough whisper a 'thank you', in a voice hoarse from disuse and pain. But he dredged up the strength to thank his friend, because Lee had found that he couldn't look at a Viper anymore. _

—————

"_Lieutenant?"_

"_I'm sorry, I'm fine now, Doctor." Lee kept his eyes on his hands, because his eyes would betray him. He was not fine. He did not feel fine. He was sorry, though. Sorry he was still on the Atlantia, burdening her crew with his problems. Sorry his brother had died. Sorry he couldn't be with his mother right now. Sorry he had collapsed in the bunkroom. "I haven't been up and about a lot lately, I just… stood up too fast."_

"_Lieutenant, don't apologize. If you don't want to go right now, if you need some more time, I can arrange it." The Doctor leaned over to try and catch Lee's eyes. "It's okay to need more time."_

"_No," Lee closed his eyes as they clouded over. He had thrown things. He had shouted. He had thrown up. He had collapsed. He had not cried, and he would not, not here. Maybe not ever. He might never stop, if he ever started. "No, I need to go."_

—————

…and they were dead. The crew, his friends, his CAG, everyone who had seen him and helped him on the Atlantia was dead. The ones who understood what he was going through because they had gone through it with him had all died when the world ended.

"Captain." Lee blinked away his memories and ruthlessly stepped on his emotions. He could wallow in pain and self-pity for his entire patrol, but right now his father apparently needed his attention.

"Your patrol will be monitored by Lieutenant Thrace and I from the CIC today. We'll be checking on the progress of all the rooks over the next few weeks." His father's expression meant nothing but business, and Kara was standing still at his side, eyes down, letting the Commander speak for both of them.

So much for some privacy on patrol.

"Thank you for informing me, sir." Lee replied after a terrible, empty pause. Maybe the other crewmen in the CIC would think he was being rude, the Commander's son once again being insolent and disrespectful to his father for no good reason. It was more likely, though, that they had forgotten that the CAG and Commander Adama were related.

Lee saluted and walked away, not even waiting for his salute to be returned.

—————

The crew on the flight deck were far more friendly towards him, but unfortunately they, too, didn't seem to remember that today was the day his brother died. Lee was beginning to feel like going back to bed. Why should Zak's death matter, anyway, when almost no one had any living family anymore? Should he give up his grief because Zak's death paled in comparison to all that had happened since?

_No. I can't._ Lee didn't stop dead when he saw a Viper anymore, but it still hurt to climb into his own, to secure his helmet, to run through his preflight check. Time had given him the ability to fly again without freezing, to walk onto the flight deck without feeling nauseous. But not time nor the tragedies between this day and the day Zak had crashed could help Lee move on. He was just… stuck. Empty and trapped.

Lee checked in with his wingmen, the nuggets with call signs Potshot and Racer. Dualla had confirmed the CIC's monitoring. They were only making their first turn around a civilian ship when an urgent crackle across the coms caused Lee's blood to freeze.

His heart skipped a beat.

"Draedis contact…"


End file.
